Welcome back. Let me be your guide.
Today is the ninth coming of our lord and savior, Britney Jean Nasty Bitch Mommy Spears.
You probably saw Brit's ninth studio album Glory descend from the heavens this morning. ICYMI, here's the moment Britney dropped the newest doctrine from the skies captured on an iPhone 6:
And EVERY publication is praising its hymns — including Rolling Stone:
If you turned your back on Brit after Britney Jean, SHE FORGIVES YOU AND STILL LOVES YOU. Now's your chance to come back to the Church of Godney through the power of Glory.
